This poem is obviously trying to take us somewhere else and let us experience somethign that many people are outside of. It's an attempt at letting us see a part of the world through someone else's eyes. I think that it accomplishes this and manages to have some very "poetic" moments in it.
Your poem is very memorable because of the dialect and slang you chose to use and also for how you incorporated the dialect into your imagery especially "and those apple bums hang loose." I also really like the line about "jump shot fame" because I think it captures the sort of thing that would be imprevious to women who "wanna make a profit."
That being said I think there are a few areas where your poem is a little confusing. The first line doesn't make sense to me and I'm not sure if it is a gap in my knowledge or if it just doesn't make sense. The image of "hair mimickin cigarette ashes" also seems strange to me because I can't imagine anyone would have grey and black hair intentionally which is what mimicking implies to me. The part about the "canyon gaps" is also unclear to me but it sounds like the space between buildings? The use of "Barbie house" to describe both your old house and the new house that was built took me awhile to wrap my head around.
I think overall your poem is very well done and accomplishes it's goal but maybe could be reworked to be more immediately understandable.
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